


This Helpless Haze I'm In

by protectginozasquad



Series: I've Never Been In Love Before [1]
Category: Psycho-Pass
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Crack, GINAKA, Kougami/Ginoza/Akane are inspectors together au, kouyuki brotp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2015-11-22
Packaged: 2018-05-02 19:53:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5261423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/protectginozasquad/pseuds/protectginozasquad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspectors Ginoza Nobuchika and Tsunemori Akane aren't very good at expressing their feelings. Luckily their friends are here to help them out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Helpless Haze I'm In

**Author's Note:**

> At the request of j_marquis (inconvenientplaces), I present the Kougami/Yuki brotp setting the ginaka dorks up on a date. AU where Akane is the same age as Kougami and Ginoza and they are all inspectors together. Very cracky.

"I don't know, Kougami, I don't think they're ever going to do it by themselves."

Kougami groaned as he rolled over on his bed, phone held up to his ear. 

"I'm not particularly fond of meddling in other people's personal lives, Yuki. I don't want Gino breaking into my apartment and murdering me in my sleep."

"I know, but please tell me you're sick of it, too."

"Ugh, yeah, I am."

This was a standard topic of conversation for Kougami and Yuki, in fact, it was their only real topic of conversation. They had met briefly at a party hosted by Akane, and they had immediately connected over their joint frustration of watching their inspector best friends avoid each other. 

"I know you guys work all the time, but we need to get them out together. A few drinks, the right atmosphere, they'll be all over each other."

"That's all well and good, but how on earth are we going to make that happen?"

"Maybe we should stage a double date?"

"Are you asking me out?" Kougami asked playfully. 

Yuki laughed. "As if. You're cute and all, but you're married to your job. Don't pretend it isn't true."

"Nah, you're right. But do you think staging such a double date would work? Akane would probably take her partner in Division Two just to avoid Gino."

"I mean, we probably would have to tell them it isn't a date. I have a great idea, actually. I'll pretend to want to go out with you, beg Akane to take me to meet up with you, but she has to bring someone with her so that it isn't awkward. I'll insist that it has to be Ginoza since he knows you. Then we bail on them. It's perfect."

There were so many things that could go wrong with it, Kougami thought. But he couldn't take it anymore. 

"Okay, well you better put on the powers of persuasion for Akane, otherwise she'll take that annoying partner of hers, and the last thing I want is to get stuck on a fake date with him."

+++

On her next lunch date with Akane, Yuki set the plan in motion. 

"Akane, do you work with Kougami very much?" She tried to sound suggestive and sly.

"Sometimes, only when they have complicated cases, but I spend," she paused, awkward. "I spend enough time in, um, in that office. Why?"

"I've just been thinking about getting back into the dating game. Now that I'm settled into my job, I finally have some brainpower to focus on men. Kougami is very cute," Yuki sighed for dramatic effect, and was rewarded with an eye-roll. So far Akane was buying it. 

"Kougami doesn't get out much."

"I know, but I bet you could arrange something so we could meet. We could go out together, I mean, you'd have to bring someone with you."

Akane considered this for a moment. "Kougami could use to loosen up a bit. But he's totally into his job, and he's not best at dating, are you really ready for that kind of relationship?"

"Akane, he's so cute!" Yuki squeaked, and received another encouraging eye-roll.

"Division Three has all the weekend shifts this week," Akane said. "So both of our divisions are free."

"Oh good, you can bring Ginoza then!" This was the tricky part, so Yuki was intentional with her enthusiasm. Excited, but not knowing. It was a difficult act to pull off. 

"And just why would I do that?" Akane's voice was high-pitched, suspicious. Yuki even caught sight of a blush tinging Akane's cheeks, but thought better than to tease her.

Yuki pouted dramatically. "Because he's Kougami's best friend! That will make it so much easier to get to know him."

"Let me think about it."

"No!" Yuki chose impatience as her method of persuasion. Once she got Akane to commit to it, they would be on. For better or for worse, the young inspector was quite predictable. Once she made plans, she wouldn't back out on them. 

"What's the rush?"

"Because if it's not going to work, I want to work on finding a different date for the weekend. Have some sympathy for a lonely lady."

Akane smirked. "Fine. I'll send both of them a message."

Yuki smiled, trying to hide her feelings of victory. That hadn't been nearly as hard as she thought. 

Akane sent a joint test message to Kougami and Ginoza. She, of course, didn't want to make it seem like she was asking Ginoza on a date, after all. That would be humiliating. 

"Since we have the weekend off, do you guys want to go out on Friday? My friend Yuki and I are trying to make some plans." 

Kougami was the first to reply. 

"Yuki Funahara?"

"Yeah, you met her at my housewarming party."

"It seems that Kougami remembers you," Akane looked up from her communicator and smiled at her best friend. Yuki grinned. Akane had taken the bait, hook, line, and sinker. 

"Sounds good. I could use a night out, not chasing criminals."

Ginoza took the opportunity to join the group message. 

"I suppose that could be fun."

"Great. Yuki and I will decide the details and keep you posted."

Yuki clapped her hands together. "Hooray! We should go to that nice little bar that's close to your place. Then we can walk, ooooh, maybe I can get Kougami to hold my hand."

Akane snorted. "Good luck with that."

+++

About an hour before the specified time, when the four were set to gather at Akane's house, Yuki called Kougami. 

"So what's our strategy?"

"This was your idea!" Kougami choked. He supposed Yuki had planned on taking care of all of the details. 

"I guess what I'm asking, Kougami, is if you are willing to pretend to be super into me so we can get away from them without raising too much suspicion."

"Are you sure this isn't an actual date for you and me?" An extra romantic catastrophe was the last thing Kougami needed while he was trying to take care of Ginoza's personal problems. 

"Ew, no way," Yuki all but shrieked. Kougami pulled the phone away from his ear. "I told you, I need a man with free time and energy to focus on me, not some job-obsessed muscleman!"

"Ouch," that stung a bit. "Okay, fine, but what do I have to do?"

"All we have to do is go to the bar with them, have a drink, fake-flirt,"

"Fake-flirt?"

"I don't know, compliment my outfit or something. God, Akane was right, you don't know anything about dating."

"Okay, okay, can we be done criticizing me and go back to our plans?"

"Fine," Kougami heard a sigh from the other end of the line. "We fake-flirt and then leave. The main thing is that we make them feel like they shouldn't leave with us. Can you do that?"

Kougami sighed back at her. "I think so."

+++

Ginoza and Akane were standing awkwardly in front of her door when Kougami arrived. They had been standing conspicuously close to one another, and, despite the fact that they weren't touching, they jumped apart nervously as Kougami strolled up. 

"Hey, guys," he said as innocently as possible, as though he hadn't noticed a thing. 

"Akane! Kooooooougami!" Kougami heard a high-pitched, tinny voice in the distance. 

Akane smiled. "You can always hear Yuki coming." 

Sure enough, Yuki dashed up to them enthusiastically, hair flowing behind her messy, but cute. 

"Hi, everyone!" She was out of breath, grinning, cheeks slightly warmed by the brisk chill of the evening. "Shall we go?"

Akane laughed, clearly amused by her friend's antics. Kougami saw one of the small, elusive smiles grace Ginoza's face as he watched the tiny inspector laugh at Yuki. The green eyes were soft, his posture relaxed. Kougami gave himself a moment to be glad for Yuki's meddling. He had never seen his best friend look on someone with such softness, such affection. And his best friend deserved the world. If Akane was the world to Ginoza, Kougami would go on as many fake dates as it took to give Ginoza that world. 

"Yes, let's," Kougami answered Yuki's question as he strolled up to her, offered her his elbow. 

"O-oh," Yuki looked at him with big, innocent eyes. He had to hand it her, she knew what she was doing. 

"Well," Kougami tipped his head to one side, smiled at her crookedly. He could make this work. "Let's go then."

Yuki slipped her arm in his, and the scheming pair glanced back together at Ginoza and Akane, who were frozen, uncertain. Ginoza's eyes were narrowed in suspicion, so Kougami turned his attention back to Yuki. 

"Apparently it's up to us to lead the way, Miss Funahara."

With that, the foursome set out towards the bar a few blocks from Akane's apartment, Ginoza and Akane stumbling on behind Kougami and Yuki. They didn't follow their example and link arms, but they were walking close enough together that Ginoza kept bumping into Akane, Kougami heard him stutter out apology after apology. 

+++

"Kougami, am I going to have to buy all my own drinks tonight?" Yuki winked at her partner in matchmaking crime, giggling in what she hoped sounded like nervousness. 

"I suppose not, for the lovely lady I guess l'll have to concede."

Ginoza and Akane, meanwhile, both seemed unsure what to do. They were sharing a drink menu nervously, elbows knocking each other's covertly. They kept locking eyes and smiling furtively, as though sharing something secret between them. Yuki took this opportunity to catch Kougami's eye for real and make a gagging motion. She saw him try not to laugh too loud. Their friends certainly weren't subtle, even if they were shy. 

After a drink or two, the little touches between Ginoza and Akane had turned from elbow knocks to finger brushes. Yuki decided it was time to really lay out the plan. 

Unabashedly, she wrapped one of her arms around Kougami's waist, saw Akane's eyebrows lift, and hoped she could pull off the flushed look. 

"Say, Kougami," she drawled, voice sultry and brash. "Maybe we should... head back." She winked again, lazy and obvious. 

She was proud when Kougami responded by leaning in close. She had to admit it, he was certainly something to look at. 

"Maybe we should," he dropped his voice low, before looking back up at Ginoza and Akane, both blushing and fidgety. 

"Is that okay with you guys?"

Ginoza started stammering about how they could all head back, but Akane elbowed him, hard. 

As they stood up from the table, linking arms again, Yuki couldn't stop herself from turning back, grinning at her best friend, blow a kiss to her. Akane's eyes went wide and her cheeks turned pink, as if suddenly understanding. 

+++

"Uh oh, it's Gino," Kougami pulled out his communicator as it chirped. 

"Oh no!" Yuki grabbed at his wrist and pulled it to her face. 

"Hey!" Kougami jerked it back. 

"What does it say?!" 

"Hmm... It says, 'Kougami, you jackass, I know you did this on purpose.'"

It chirped again. 

"'So, thanks, I guess,'" Kougami read the second message. 

Yuki hopped up and down. "We did it!"

They high-fived and continued their walk into the night, proud of their accomplishment.


End file.
